We've had a week off from school for Carnaval, and it's been a really nice break. I've been meaning to post about the growing discontent that we've been feeling with the school--not so much for us, but for our kids.
It's become the daily routine. R. wakes up, eats breakfast, throws himself on the sofa and flails as Dan tries to wrestle him into his uniform on, R. screaming, I don't want to go to school! I'm going to stay home with Dete!
It's become the daily routine. R. wakes up, eats breakfast, throws himself on the sofa and flails as Dan tries to wrestle him into his uniform on, R. screaming, I don't want to go to school! I'm going to stay home with Dete!
E. at least is more low key. Do I have to go to school? he sighs, reclining on the couch, finger-picking a riff on his small guitar.
E. has always loved school. In fact, it almost used to hurt my feelings, when he'd ask if he could go to school even on weekends and days off, as though staying home with me were some kind of punishment.
This is R.'s first experience with formal education, and in his case there is definitely an element of resistance for its own sake (he's a pro at that).
But there are other things that give us pause. Like how quickly certain Portuguese words roll off his tongue--estúpido, cala boca, cara de cueca (stupid, shut your mouth, underwear face). Maybe innocent three-year old teasing, sure.
But after winter break, when Dan took E. to his first after-school soccer class, E. turned around crying and refused to go. He finally confessed that these kids had been making fun of him, laughing at his sneakers and the kind of food he brings for lunch.
His sneakers? I mean, for God's sake, he's in kindergarten! What five-year old notices the brand of sneakers someone else is wearing?
Apparently, wealthy Brazilian private-school kids.
We talked to both boys' teachers about the situation, and both teachers were understanding. We've been really happy with the teachers, actually--they're caring and smart and wonderful with the kids.
Part of the problem is the class size--23 in preschool, 25 in kindergarten--which is way too big.
Another part is cultural. Portuguese is the language spoken on the playground, and while they're learning, E. and R. are obviously much more comfortable with English.
I don't know how much they pick up on other cultural differences, too, by which I guess I mean class differences. Like the fact that their classmates all have chauffeurs and expensive boxes of chocolate milk for their snacks and light-up sneakers.
Then there's the school culture itself. Apparently it's the norm for non-Brazilians to be shunned and made fun of. I was aware that this went on in middle school, but I guess it starts as early as preschool.
Despite all this, E.'s teacher assures us that he's well-loved by his classmates, and part of the reason they tease him is because they're jealous of him. Perhaps.
And perhaps it's pretty mild as these things go. I just hope it doesn't sour the boys on school so early.
Can't we at least wait for middle school for that to happen?
This is R.'s first experience with formal education, and in his case there is definitely an element of resistance for its own sake (he's a pro at that).
But there are other things that give us pause. Like how quickly certain Portuguese words roll off his tongue--estúpido, cala boca, cara de cueca (stupid, shut your mouth, underwear face). Maybe innocent three-year old teasing, sure.
But after winter break, when Dan took E. to his first after-school soccer class, E. turned around crying and refused to go. He finally confessed that these kids had been making fun of him, laughing at his sneakers and the kind of food he brings for lunch.
His sneakers? I mean, for God's sake, he's in kindergarten! What five-year old notices the brand of sneakers someone else is wearing?
Apparently, wealthy Brazilian private-school kids.
We talked to both boys' teachers about the situation, and both teachers were understanding. We've been really happy with the teachers, actually--they're caring and smart and wonderful with the kids.
Part of the problem is the class size--23 in preschool, 25 in kindergarten--which is way too big.
Another part is cultural. Portuguese is the language spoken on the playground, and while they're learning, E. and R. are obviously much more comfortable with English.
I don't know how much they pick up on other cultural differences, too, by which I guess I mean class differences. Like the fact that their classmates all have chauffeurs and expensive boxes of chocolate milk for their snacks and light-up sneakers.
Then there's the school culture itself. Apparently it's the norm for non-Brazilians to be shunned and made fun of. I was aware that this went on in middle school, but I guess it starts as early as preschool.
Despite all this, E.'s teacher assures us that he's well-loved by his classmates, and part of the reason they tease him is because they're jealous of him. Perhaps.
And perhaps it's pretty mild as these things go. I just hope it doesn't sour the boys on school so early.
Can't we at least wait for middle school for that to happen?
7 comments:
Usually when this happens (and it happens quite frequently, at least at R.'s age - I can't speak for E.)the parents think the problem is the TEACHER and their expectations. Perhaps this is a cultural thing too, or rather a lack of in-touch-with-kids reality here....
AkuTyger--do you mean other parents think it's the teacher's fault when kids are making fun of each other? Or just kids not liking school in general? I can imagine it could get pretty frustrating dealing with some of these parents. (Hopefully we're not among them.) As I said, we couldn't be happier with the teaching ;)
I went to bilingual school the end of high school and definitely, if you did not speak the dominant language, you were picked on. I had a friend who went to that school from kindergarten and she said that it was like that from the get go. I am sure the kids are jealous, but that does not mean that it not something to be concerned about.
Would sending them to another school be an option? I know it would not have the English element, but maybe socially it would be better?
If the kids are not liking school, parent reaction is always to say it's because they don't like the teacher (don't worry, you guys never gave that impression). And more often than not, usually it's because the PARENT doesn't agree with something the teacher does or thinks there are too many rules, or what have you, rather than it being something the kid actually instigates. At least, that is how it seems for preschool. It might be the richie rich culture, but I think it is pretty much like this all over - middle class friends of mine make the same kinds of comments about their children's teachers. Smile and nod, smile and nod.
Yes. I agree. The class sizes are too large at our school. It worries me. I am sad this is happening! I hope it gets better!
underwear face. that is a good one. so much better than poopy head or stinky. R is such a badass.
And why why must the classist teasing start so early? ugh. It's exhausting. When Hamish was teased at his school, my gut wrenched tighter than his. it's going to be a long next 15 or so years no matter what school they go to. Maybe he can call them all underwear faces.
lots o' snowy love
yeesh. were any of your children born in brasil? now, im not even close to having kids yet, but i actually already was thinking "hmmmm even if i cant really afford, they're going to private school." but i guess my kids would be brazilian....so no one would know. your boys will be no different from anyone else though in their classes, in a few year :)
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