As I've alluded to here before, I'm currently working on a collection of essays that have to do with Brazil and my experiences there. They talk about what it was like to live in Salvador with young children, weaving in food, history, race, culture, language, and song. Maybe even including some of Dete's recipes, if I can figure out how to do that.
Sounds fascinating, right?
Well, the editors at the multitude of literary journals where I've sent them don't think so.
Now, I've been submitting my writing to journals since I was sixteen, so I definitely have my share of experience with rejection. I've been going through a rough patch lately, though. My stats so far, since I started this project over the summer:
Essays written: 20
Submissions to journals and contests: 62 (yes, 62!)
Rejections: 15
Submissions still pending: 47
Maybe I should aim lower. There are probably journals where my work could be be published. But I do have standards. And it's not like I'm submitting to the New Yorker or the Atlantic. I mean, I know these literary magazines are competitive, but come on. I've been published in many of them already (well, for poetry). Maybe I've lost my touch. Or maybe the prose thing just isn't working for me.
I'm finishing up an essay now that deals with literatura de cordel, a popular form of literature in Brazil, little booklets, usually stories in verse, illustrated with woodcuts. Their creators sell them in the market, draped over a rope (hence the name, which means literature on a string).
Maybe I should follow in their footsteps and try self-publishing. But wow, that prospect is even more depressing than gearing up for another round of submissions. I guarantee you my essays have no popular appeal, and apparently their literary appeal is lacking as well.
I guess the blog is sort of a modern variation on the cordel pamphlets--self-published and promoted--and there is some immediate gratification in sending my writing out into the world with the click of a button.
So, dear reader, feel free to send me any words of encouragement. Or literary connections. Or adoring fan letters. Hugs and kisses, real or virtual.
Maybe this post is too depressing for Thanksgiving. On a positive note, I am trying to be thankful for everything that challenges me, as one of my yoga teachers suggested.
I am certainly thankful for my husband for watching the kids so I could attend that two-hour yoga class this morning.
And readers, if you are still here, I am thankful for you!
17 comments:
Ellie, you are the most talented, thoughtful, intelligent and beautiful woman I know. How's that for praise? Miss you.
The blessing is in the struggle. I've been trying to figure that out for a long time, but it certainly seems appropriate here.
Someone alerted me that sending out submissions is like direct mail--if you get a 5% positive response you're ahead of the game.
This evening I was privy to a discussion about a young pharmacist who has just been hired in a local hospital and is making a pile of money. Six figures. And she loves her job. And I think, That's great! We need people like her! Except
1) She just finished 6 YEARS of school and 2) Now she has to sit up all night and figure out drug dosages for hospital patients.
At least we get to make art.
You've got A LOT of submissions still pending, so there is no reason to give up hope. And I love your writing about this. It will find a home.
Thanks, guys.
Wildgoose, I don't know who you are, but I miss you too.
Would it help to let you know that after the NYTimes (homepage) and gmail (addiction), your blog (art) is the site I check most regularly? I look for new posts at least once a day. (You're probably wondering at this point why I don't call or get together more often, and I wonder the same thing, though believe it has something to do with exhaustion.)
Also, two things strike me about publishing in 2010: 1) Like always, genius is rarely recognized during its own time; and 2) like never before, humans are constantly inundated with crap, and most haven't yet developed the skills to filter brilliant from banal.
Yoga and a meal soon, I hope, Rebecca
Ellie. Sorry about all the rejection. It just sucks. Why sugarcoat it?
On the other hand, in my over-achieving life, I've found that third-party validation (be it via publication, awards, even casual praise) is an addictive drug that provides a cruelly fleeting high followed by a ravenous hunger for more.
For what it's worth, I love your writing. I humbly offer back the kind encouragement you've shown me with my blog-start-up. Keep at it. Not the submissions so much, though those, too, if it's what you want. But the writing! And the faith in yourself. You've navigated the waters of Brazilian hospitals with a feverish baby in your arms. You can do this!
Gentle writer, keep writing! Your words already have been published in the literatura de cordel of our hearts. We await the next pamphlet!
Thanks, Rebecca. Sent you an email. Thanks, Whitney.
Just think, you have 47 still pending!!!! That is something. Who knows, it only takes one to pick it up and publish.
Have you ever thought of writing a book. I would love to read about your year in Brazil, especially since it is a story of a family that moved there, didn't just wander around traveling, but actually lived and attempted to blend into a culture that was so far from their own.
Keep your chin up. Surely someone will pick it up to publish.
Summer
"Não se afobe, não Que nada é para já" - chico buarque
:) boa sorte
Rebecca and Whitney said it all so well. I will add that you are awesome (well, people said that too, but it bears repeating). You have to do what makes you happy.
Ellie! Keep sending it out. It will get published. You know that Stephen King book, On Writing? He had a giant railroad spike that he speared his countless rejection letters on. Every rejection gets you closer to the YES. I'm so impressed that you send your work out. Just keep writing.
But you know this.
I love that you shared this since A. I identify! and B. You're so frigging talented that it's weirdly reassuring to hear you voice your worries. When I used to pursue moviestardom, they told me that rejection was the job. Writing is the same, yeah? It's good for the masochist in us. (okay maybe I'm only talking about myself...)
In summary, write on, dazzling you!
Ellie, you are a magnificent writer! I haven’t been to your blog in a while, but stopped by for inspiration. Never doubt yourself too much, although pushing yourself is probably a good thing. Art only speaks to those that are ready to hear/see it at that moment. Just because someone isn’t ready to see it, doesn’t mean they never will be. You just need that one person who is ready and presto…published! They won’t publish it if they don’t understand it. It is not your fault. Keep up the good work. You are an obsessed artist, one of the best! Hugs!
Wow, thanks everyone. Who needs publication when you have friends/ readers like this?
Hey Golden Papaya/Ellie,
I'm a writer AND I live in Brazil AND I have been following your blog for months and I think you're such a fine and thoughtful writer and you very sensitively capture all the crazy ambivalent emotions that accompany living in Brazil (and Bahia!!!) as a foreigner.
Thanks, anon!
Sorry, I've been a bad friend and haven't read the blog in a while, but it always gives me joy to do so. I like "the blessing is in the struggle." That applies to so much, I think. Just remember that most artists have to go through this, and you are definitely not alone. I think those journals are crazy not to accept your essays, but at least in the meantime, we lucky readers get to enjoy your blog! *Please* keep writing, in whatever form that may take. You have the gift.
I just read your essay on Living Abroad with a Family in Bahia, Brazil. I immediately came to your blog and added you. I love your writing style. It's absolutely beautiful! Look forward to reading more!
Post a Comment