Comments on The Golden Papaya: workplace worries

hope everyone is feeling back to normal. too bad y...

2010-02-09T19:24:02.912-03:00

hope everyone is feeling back to normal. too bad you got treated the way you did.

Thanks for your kind words, Jazztech. I hadn't...

2010-02-01T10:12:50.853-03:00

Thanks for your kind words, Jazztech. I hadn't realized that Tyray was also you!

Well at least you and Dan did not take it lying do...

2010-01-31T18:39:45.497-03:00

Well at least you and Dan did not take it lying down. You 2 spoke up and scrapped (fought) for your rights to nurse your kids back to health.
I sometimes hate the attitude of 'jeitinho' that is so prevalent in Brazilin culture. The fact of the matter is that dehydration is nothing to play with. It can kill. There also may be some petty jealousy (haters) involved with the ‘American’ teacher married to this great guy who is such a wonderful dad. It may be a good idea not to discuss your personal home life with anyone at the school. (….We are thinking about getting a second maybe part time helper/housekeeper).

El sometimes I forget to log in as jazztech and the name that my parents gave me, Tyray show up on your site.

I’m glad that the boys are feeling better and for you (and Dan) to share these experiences for the rest of us to learn from show a real unselfishness and strength from the 2 of you.

Corinne, thanks for your thoughtful reply. It'...

2010-01-31T09:41:23.246-03:00

Corinne, thanks for your thoughtful reply. It's true, teachers are almost on par with "the help" at our wealthy school. Also true that as a mother (employed or not) you can't win, if you're lucky enough to have leeway at work, someone else will probably give you a hard time.
Thanks for your comment, Ana Flavia. I don't think I'm in danger of being fired, thank goodness. We definitely depend on our nanny, as you suggest, but have not found it easy to find a fill-in as qualified as she is!
Whitney, I so appreciate your caring comments. And can't wait for the song. I love your musical numbers.

Ellie, I wish I could airlift you to a hotel in an...

2010-01-30T23:48:57.037-03:00

Ellie, I wish I could airlift you to a hotel in an undisclosed location. The same hotel I fantasize about when my kids have been sick for a long time. It's not right that you've had to go through so much, especially with little Ju being so sick. You are such a good mother to be on top of Ju's sensitive health situation, while also trying to care for your other sick boys and work--all at the same time. And the attitude from school just adds insult to injury. I can't speak to working in Brazil, but in my experience, no one 'gets it' when you have a sick kid. Deadlines and expectations remain unchanged. It's absurd. I've been working on a alt-version of the song "Vincent" by Don McLean...I call it "Amy Poehler, Tina Fey." It's about the conundrum of working motherhood. The last line is "This world don't give a **** that your kid's sick if work is due." I'll let you know when it's up on the Coconut Girl. Peace, sister. I'm with you.

I am sorry hearing so bad news. I hope everyone ge...

2010-01-30T18:43:10.680-03:00

I am sorry hearing so bad news. I hope everyone gets better quickly. and have the doctors found out what is the virus exactly?

In Brazil one parent (usually the mother) is allow...

2010-01-30T18:39:29.443-03:00

In Brazil one parent (usually the mother) is allowed by law to take paid days to be with a kid in hospital or at home. But You have to go a long way with papers and usually to make sure to everybody that the career is important, midle class working mother rely on living nanny or housekeeper to help out. Those helpers are easily replaced in case go sick at the same time they are much needed.

That attitude is surprising to me, especially sinc...

2010-01-30T17:00:03.346-03:00

That attitude is surprising to me, especially since my perception is that family trumps work in Brazil. However, it may have much more to do with the privileged parents of the kids that you teach, who tend to think that "the help" (and as a teacher I think you would qualify as such) have no life outside of taking care of them and theirs and can never miss work. I hope everyone cuts you some slack, it does not even sound that you have missed that much work.

My son goes to public school and last year we had to deal with multiple "days off" as the teachers went on a number of one day strikes and even though we didn´t like it (especially since we would only get about a day notice of the strike), nobody was calling the principal to complain.

As a university professor in a public university here, I must say that my experience is completely different. I have tremendous leeway about missing classes and how I make up the material missed.

However, while I don´t get flack from work, I have picked up on a strong anti working mother bias from my husband´s family. So, I think that the conflict between doing right by your kids and working (not only for $ but because you enjoy your profession) is always present for the working mother, whether in the US or Brazil.